Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
