It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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