I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize