I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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