Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
