Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
