Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
