??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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