i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
