I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
