Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
