well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will be naked everywhere
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
