Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize