Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This baby is an asshole
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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