I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
