Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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