Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've blown a few things in my day
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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