maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
