... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
