He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
