i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
