Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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