i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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