Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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