walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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