If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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