You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
