I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
