I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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