He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
