Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
