Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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