Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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