She's JV to your varsity
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
