I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
