she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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