I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it hurts more in the daytime
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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