U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
