i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is the high leading the old right now
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
