NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
