In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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