My room smells like vodka and shame
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
