At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize