When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
