did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
