is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
