So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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