is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this just has baby written all over it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
