She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
