Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
