No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
