I just made out with a guy for $7.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Randomize
