We're facebook friends in real life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize