My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
