I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
