I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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