the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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