my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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