Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
