What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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