dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
