I just found puke in my bra..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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