He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
