why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
