its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
