Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
